


Self Indulgence

by fringybitch



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: AH YES BABY THE ICONIC FIC, M/M, and then realized the rpf hell they just accidentally bumped into, and they opened it without knowing, i apologize for his glittery ass, i wonder if any other t/m fans came across this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 14:57:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19832596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fringybitch/pseuds/fringybitch
Summary: His lips looked too fucking good to refuse this.





	1. "Are you okay with this?"

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is not meant to be an accurate depiction of real life YouTubers T/om Scott or M/att Gray, but rather caricatures of their internet personas.  
> If either of you are reading this right now, just click off of this and don't read it, and I apologize that you saw this. If you want this taken down, please let me know.  
> Otherwise, please do not show/email this to them, I don't intend to do harm with this, I don't want either of them to see or read this.

We’re all aware that the last person you would ever expect to be downing an entire bottle of wine, right now, as if it were the end of the world, especially in a dimly lit nightclub that he barely remembers how he got into at this point, is Tom.

The atmosphere wasn’t anything close to any other party he’d ever gone to before. Actually, it took a long while for his friend to make him even consider the idea of going there, as he’s not naturally a big fan of places like… nightclubs. Even if he became content with the situation he’s brought himself into right now, he wasn’t quite sure if he truly wanted to be there at any point of it.

But, hey, you’ve got to deal with it.

* * *

Apparently, it was Hannah Moeller’s — one of Matt’s friends — birthday, and she made the decision to invite a bunch of her friends to this particular nightclub, not far from where she lives, in order to have a bit of fun with friends on this special occasion. From what she had been told, and from some additional bits of research she’d done a week in advance, she knew that the place wasn’t going to be anything crazy, and it just felt like a suitable location for what would be an opportunity to hang out with a bigger group of her friends once again. So, she proceeded to tell a few people about it, and that’s how Matt, Tom’s best friend, got invited to this party.

For Matt, convincing a few more of his acquaintances to come with him in order to have a bit of company at Hannah’s party was quite easy. If he were to be honest with himself, inviting other people to it wasn’t an absolute necessity, as he didn’t even know most of them well enough to consider them friends; but, taking into account that all of them were essentially mutual friends, it felt like an appropriate way to ease the atmosphere, or at least to make the party a tad bit bigger and, perhaps, a little bit more fun.

As for Tom... it took quite a bit of time. Actually, it took _several days_ of constant brush-offs until he realised that Matt literally wouldn’t shut up about it, unless he gave in and accepted going to the party with him. So, eventually, the discussion was finally over, _thank god_ , and it was settled.

So, apparently, now Tom’s going to go to a nightclub. Again. For the first time in a _long_ time.

At least he’s going to be with friends this time.

* * *

Time flew by, much faster than Tom had hoped. But eventually, after a few days, it was time.

Matt’s small circle of friends met in front of his house at about ten o’clock, and they were about to head to the club where they had been told the party would start. Except, someone was late. As expected.

“Of course”, Matt blurted out as he discerned a silhouette in the distance, despite how dim the streetlights actually were. “Of course he would do this. I don’t know what I expected from him.” He refrained from it at first, but eventually he began to giggle as soon as he noticed that the man in the distance was slowly decreasing his speed with each step he was taking, with the clear intention of letting Matt know that he was simply not as excited about this experience as Matt would want him to be.

While Matt was waiting for his best friend to come closer, the other guys started chatting in the back, and the welcoming atmosphere of the group was exactly what both of them were going to need at that point.

It didn’t take long until the previously unclear silhouette got closer and closer, eventually reaching the Relatively Small But Still Quite Surprisingly Big group of people in front of Matt’s house. Before muttering anything, he took a long breath, and made a small pause in order to take a glance at the few people behind Matt; it didn’t take a long time to recognise all the faces, but he was quite impressed.

It wasn’t anything extreme, and you couldn’t exactly say that he really brought on an entire army for the sole purpose of celebrating Hannah’s birthday, as it wasn’t more than fifteen people. But it was still interesting to acknowledge, every once in a while, how many friends Matt really has.

After a bit of time, they all started heading towards the club, and Tom quickly moved to the right of Matt, trying to engage into a conversation and hoping that he could still talk his way out of this mess.

“So, I really have to do this, huh?” murmured Tom under his own breath, obviously knowing the answer to the question. Part of him hoped that he hadn’t been heard, but then Matt let out a sigh in disappointment.

“We’ve talked about this several times, Tom. It’s not going to be as bad as you think.”

“But-”

“Come on, Tom. Not like you’ve not seen girls before. No, you won’t be seeing tits over there. It’s not a strip club.”

“Crikey, Matt. I’ve heard of “horny on main” before, but this is ridiculous.”

* * *

After less than half an hour of walking through the town, they arrived at their destination. The surroundings felt so quiet, almost antithetic to whatever was going to happen beyond those doors. An unsurprisingly big neon sign lighting the view up above the entrance read, “Red Ice Night Club”. As expected, the very second one of the people in the group pushed the doors wide open, the relatively quiet feeling of the evening up until that point turned into a chaotic mess.

At that point, Tom realised that he had truly fucked up by giving in and agreeing to participate in what he was entirely sure was going to become an ultimate jumble of events that nobody would remember anything from. But, despite all the warnings that his instincts were trying to give him, he still went through with it, as he waited for all the other people to enter the building before he stepped through the wide opened doors together with Matt.

The party had already started before they got there, but that didn’t stop them from accommodating themselves to the atmosphere of the event, as the loud, blaring music made it almost impossible not to have a good time. After Hannah greeted them all with a smile on her face, the original group broke apart, and in the end Tom found himself on a couch somewhere in the corner of the room, with Matt and Hannah sitting next to him along with a few of the people that actually stuck around, such as Alex, Ethan, and James.

* * *

Time passed, and, in the end, Tom finally got comfortable with the situation he’d gotten himself into. After some predictable rounds of dancing together, and the Occasional But Obligatory gay jokes regarding him and Matt, the six sat down again on the couch that they seemed to have claimed for the night, and then Ethan decided to buy drinks for everyone.

“...okay, alright… uh, Tom, what are you having?”

“Um, actually… I don’t drink-”

“Oh my god, are you kidding me?” commented James. “Not gonna lie, you’re fucking lame.”

“That’s why I didn’t even want to fucking come here in the first place”, he blurted out angrily, “because I’m not in the mood to get shitfaced in public _once again_ -”

“Oh my god, just shut up and tell me what to order.”

“I don’t know… whatever you’re having.”

* * *

At this point, the storyline grew pretty blurry.

After a while, Tom suddenly woke up alone on the couch and, with a confused look, tried to figure out where everyone went. The dim lights were not making the job easier, nor was the crowd on the dancefloor that seemed to have gotten significantly larger since the last time he went on it, about an hour or two ago. And the sudden headache that he woke up with, which was so unexplainably painful that he could barely think, wasn’t helping him feel any better about this mess either.

Trying to recover from the unbearable dizziness, he closed his eyes for a few seconds, then took another look around the place, still not fully convinced of the position he found himself in. Everything around him felt like it was spinning, but in spite of all of that, he immediately noticed the half-empty bottle of wine that was randomly left in front of him, standing out in between the surprising number of empty shot glasses on the table.

“Hmm… that… that wasn’t t-there be… before.”

He stopped for a few seconds to process all of the information at that moment, but he was feeling so disconnected that he couldn’t even form any coherent sentence in his head. Eventually, after what almost felt like an eternity but was probably only a few minutes, he instinctively grabbed the bottle, muttering out a few barely comprehensible words before bringing the bore of the bottle close to his lips.

“If I’m… If I'm already fucked up, might as well go… all out.”

Slowly but surely, Tom drank all that was left in the wine bottle. Slowly losing control over his body, he accidentally dropped the bottle from his hand, onto the ground, where it instantly broke into small glass shards next to the couch he was sitting on. He laid back, looked around him one more time, then zoned out for a while, as countless thoughts and feelings started taking over his mind.

* * *

He seemed to have forgotten where he was at this point, as memories from his past started appearing before his eyes. He didn’t have the required mental power at the moment to be able to focus on each one or, preferably, step out of the imagination he felt stuck into, but he felt like he had an almost moral obligation not to let these thoughts just slide past. His mind was switching through these numerous scenarios that he’d taken part in before, and then, almost like a bolt from the blue, he instantly remembered, once again, why he despised places like this so much.

All of his previous girlfriends. All the memories. The escapades. The heartbreaks. The many moments like this one. Drinking his mind off so many times before, but hoping to get rid of his feelings once and for all every single time. The only person that was able to tell the story of each one of his painful relationships is him, but it wasn't the time.

The strange amalgam of feelings immediately hit him, and it didn't take more than a few seconds for tears to spring from his hazy, emerald green eyes. He couldn't even physically be aware of it, but, at that point, he was emotionally devastated; he suddenly began sobbing, unable to control the sheer pressure that he felt was being put over his thoughts. 

As much as his foggy mind didn't want to believe that he was still alone on some random couch in a nightclub he'd been persuaded into going to, it wasn't like he was entirely unnoticeable among all the other people that seemed to be having fun at the party. Somehow, after about a quarter of an hour of contemplating pointlessly, the alcohol’s effects were very slowly but surely diminishing, and his vision become a tad bit clearer.

Through the chaotic motion of the crowd, a certain shadow caught his eye and, after a few seconds, the same unclear figure was slowly approaching him. It didn't take long until the man sat down next to Tom and, with a concerned expression on his face, looked him up and down for a few seconds, doing his best effort to understand what had gone wrong in the short period of time he's been alone.

It took almost a full minute but, after shaking his head a few times and wiping the stream of tears from his reddened cheeks, Tom noticed that the person that had just sat down next to him was, in fact, Matt. And, as soon as he became aware of it, he tried his best to calm down from his strange state of anxiety and play it cool. But then, while attempting to check his surroundings, his plan fell apart.

“Oh… god.” Tom whispered, as he looked up into Matt's eyes, then down to his feet, noticing the mess he had made on the ground. His voice was unusually shaky, and the mess of his hair along with the weirdly obvious wine stains on his bright red T-shirt gave him away.

“W-what happened? Are you… are you alright?” asked Matt, struggling to get the right words out of his mouth. He gently put his hand on Tom's shoulder, and looked him straight in the eyes. Small tears welled up in Tom's eyes again, refracting the faded green of his irises — the kind of green that comes only as summer advances and revives the world in the darkest of times, so lively yet so mysterious.

The fear and the uncertainty behind Tom’s clouded pupils turned more and more obvious, as he gradually slipped away from his thoughts and into the reality where he’d left off.

Matt wasn't exactly fully sober, and Tom picked up on that, despite Matt trying his best not to sound like he'd just downed his fifth shot of vodka an hour before. The pungent smell of alcohol coming from his breath wasn't truly flattering, and the stuttering in his voice made it clear for both of them; the mere thought of either of them being sober at this point was ridiculous.

“I... I d-don't know… wh-why I did this.” Tom mumbled.

“...Oh, god.” muttered Matt, realizing what he'd gotten them into. They were both in the same situation now, and there was nothing either of them could do about it.

A few minutes passed in this exact rhythm, with Matt trying to communicate with his friend in order to figure out what had happened since he woke up. Eventually, following around thirty seconds of what seemed like pure silence to them — despite the unbearably loud music and the bright atmosphere of the club — , Tom slowly moved his hand up to Matt's face and began caressing his soft cheek, as his pupils dilated and his heartbeat grew faster and faster. He made a short pause, nearly getting lost in Matt’s eyes; a deep, earthy brown, like sweet chocolate that melts at the weakest heat.

Tom began leaning in forwards, slightly closer and closer to Matt, without shifting his hand away from Matt’s face.

“Wh-what are you… doing…” Matt asked in disbelief, although they both knew what direction this was going to go in. He backed out for a few seconds, asking himself whether he truly wanted to do this.

“Are y-you... okay with… with this?” Tom asked, stopping for a brief moment; he looked down at the ground, trying to think of the right words to say. “Do you...”

They had done this before. And, despite the miserable state they were in, both of them seemed to be aware of what they were about to do. It didn’t take long for Matt to make a final decision — more or less because of the alcohol finally getting to his head, but that didn’t matter to him at the moment.

Tom's lips looked _too fucking good_ to refuse this.

“Yes. Please.”

Upon hearing the confirmation needed, Tom grabbed the back of Matt’s head, pulling it close enough so their lips pressed against each other, forming a deep, profoundly craved kiss. Closing his eyes, Matt froze, unable to react in any way voluntarily, and allowed himself to sink into the feeling — as Tom slipped his tongue in through the addictingly soft lips and into his mouth, he left out a muffled moan, shivering at what felt nearly like an electric shock as their skin touched every time.

In between short breaths and quiet whispers, their tongues began to sloppily dance along with each other, and the kisses quickly morphed from short and sweet to heated and desperate; whenever one of them pulled back from it, just for a fraction of a second, they would allow themselves to take deep breaths and stare into each other’s glowing eyes for a brief moment, only for Tom to passionately lean back in every single time and claim his mouth again with swift, lustful movements. Again. And again. And again.

The world around them felt like it was disappearing, leaving room just for the two of them in the heat of the moment. The utterly addicting sensation hopelessly hooked Tom past the point of no return. And he wanted more. So much more.

Tom slid his other hand up Matt’s back, tangling his thin fingers between Matt's soft, ink black curls, not having let go of the heated exchange of kisses and the sweet taste of his tongue just yet. As he kept on tasting Matt's mouth, both of his hands roamed up his lover’s body, sneaking up under the overly constricting clothes and running his fingers across his delicate back. Inhibitions were nonexistent at this point, and Tom was using this rare opportunity to the maximum.

After a while, he let go of Matt’s taste, lazily resting his head on Matt’s shoulder; he started freely exploring every inch of Matt’s skin, feeling a strong wave of euphoria every time a deep, sensual groan sounded in the younger man’s throat, turning his clouded mind to mush. Burying his face into Matt's neck, he tugged Matt’s head back, proceeding to pepper his lover’s pale skin with gentle bites and rough kisses, all while hearing his own name being lustfully moaned and listening to him begging for more.

“I… love you,” whimpered Tom between voiced groans, his brain unable to conceive any other intelligible sentence as drips of sweat began forming on his forehead, “I lo… I love you. I love you.”

He pulled back and smirked at the marked skin of Matt’s neck, trailing his hands across the man’s chest and grabbing at the plain white T-shirt he was wearing, in hopes that he would get the memo.

It didn't take long for Tom to back away and quickly grab his phone from his pocket, opening the Uber app.

* * *

The dim streetlights by Matt’s house seemed to be the only source of illumination at such a late hour in the night, but they were contributing to the relatively calm atmosphere of the moment, compared to the blaring bass and the flashing lights from a few minutes ago. The two got out of the taxi and started up the walk, taking advantage of the eerie silence around them and stopping for just a couple of seconds before rushing to the front door. Tom made a step back, waiting for Matt to grab the key from his jean pocket and unlock the house.

“I-It doesn’t —” Matt began to giggle, as the mundane task of fitting the key through the hole of the lock felt almost like an unpleasant puzzle, his slightly foggy brain finding it difficult to concentrate on such a simple thing. Tom was about to intervene, trying to snatch the key from his clumsy hand in order to unlock the door himself, but he gave up in the end, seeing as Matt brushed it off repeatedly.

It didn’t take more than a minute or two of trial-and-error before a quiet click sounded from the lock, but perhaps it happened to take just long enough for Tom to be a bit annoyed by it, as he didn’t seem pleased. At all.

“Oh.” Matt exclaimed as he pushed the door open. His immediate instinct was to start laughing, but he refrained from it — until he saw the look of utter disappointment on the other’s face, of course. Keeping a straight face, Tom’s eyes were concentrating on the now wide open front door, but it was not until he switched his point of focus to Matt’s face that the silence broke down; apparently, he accidentally caused Matt to burst out with uncontrollable laughter.

Pretending to look annoyed and doing his best effort to keep the blank expression on his face, Tom crossed his hands and leaned on the door frame, watching Matt nearly run out of air while laughing, but then the entire situation flipped around when, suddenly, a little giggle escaped his mouth, and another, and another — and it didn’t take long until both of them were trying to understand the reason why they were laughing at each other without having done anything.

“Let’s... let’s get… get i-inside”, Tom tried to articulate, but the words were struggling to come out of his mouth properly in between the loud cackling. He had to wait for another couple of seconds for both of them to calm down enough to be able to look up and walk forwards. He decided to avoid talking altogether; this explains why he promptly grabbed Matt’s hand and finally stepped through the front door and into the house, trying to pull his lover along and make their way to the bedroom that they wanted to reach from the beginning.

Unsurprisingly, Tom’s walk wasn’t perfectly straight; the booze getting to his head caused his legs to feel weaker than he’d have liked them to, and, in the span of less than a minute, he was on the verge of stumbling over practically nothing and falling to the ground. Twice. But, despite all of that, he eventually let go of Matt’s hand and excitedly rushed upstairs, trying to think of a plan on the spot in order to get the most out of this opportunity.

Matt, on the other hand, preferred to hold on to a calm, patient attitude, and wasn’t determined to run at the same pace as Tom for something which he knew he would get regardless. At this point, he knew that Tom was going to become fully unpredictable, and he was ready for anything coming his way. He let Tom hurriedly run up the stairs and have his way, while he took his time and focused on each step along the way, smiling at the half-innocent giggles he could already hear from the distance.

In a few moments, the older man was already in front of the door, getting ready to slowly push it open, but he was interrupted by an entirely unexpected feeling behind his back. Leaning in close to his left ear, Matt audibly licked his own lips, sliding his hand down and gently cupping Tom’s ass. The easily distinguishable smell of alcohol gave him away, but the sudden touch made Tom shiver from head to toes. He turned around to gaze into his dark, chocolate brown eyes and intentionally sounded a gentle moan, hooking Matt into his teasing game in a way that _only he_ could manage.

Lightly pushing the door open with one of his legs, Tom began carefully stepping backwards, heading to the double bed in the middle of the relatively small room, all while pulling Matt’s head into an almost bruising kiss. Despite having to repeatedly look back in order not to trip over and fall over thin air, he just couldn’t let it go — seeing Matt’s cheeks flushing red and his eyes roll back in pleasure only made him more and more determined, lustfully claiming the man’s mouth and fully savouring the euphoric state of mind he had brought upon both of them. Finally having reached the bed, Tom let go and leaned backwards, only for his body to bounce a bit when it made contact with the mattress. He spread his arms wide on the bed, impatiently waiting for Matt’s turn to drive him crazy, letting out a slutty moan as encouragement.

“I’m… all yours.” 

Despite trying to give the impression of a skilled dominant, Tom became a panting mess by this point; he knew that pleasing Matt was going to require giving him full control over his body. And it’s not like he didn’t enjoy being dominated, especially by _such a beautiful man._

Matt wasted no time in passionately taking Tom’s stained shirt off, along with his own, and all of their clothing was thrown across the bedroom floor in the blink of an eye. Matt’s intense gaze drank up Tom’s exposed body from on top of him, and Tom squirming in between his arms, digging his fingers desperately into his shoulders, begging silently for more, was a pricelessly gorgeous sight. Tom was more beautiful than Matt could’ve ever imagined, and Matt wasn’t planning on letting him get away, at least until they both got the most out of each other.

Tom’s gaze slid down from Matt’s hypnotizing eyes to his chest, and he was finding it difficult to articulate his thoughts properly; he was babbling incoherently, but his body language was more than enough for the other to understand his intentions.

“Please… please do whatever. I’m yours tonight...” he managed to whisper.

Tom carelessly turned around under Matt, leaving his bare ass exposed. Matt’s gaze couldn’t help but slide downwards, admiring the incredibly soft, pale skin of Tom's body. Biting his lip, he moved a bit back and lightly touched one of Tom’s ass cheeks, nearly caressing it. From underneath, the man jumped a bit at the sudden cold temperature of his hand, but relaxed quickly as Matt moved the hand down his thigh and then up his back again, almost gently massaging his body, repeatedly licking his own lips — trying his best not to make it obvious that _he was fucking weak and desperate, just like Tom_.

Matt reached over to one of the drawers of his bedside table and grabbed the small bottle of lubricant that he remembered he had bought a while ago, almost knocking it over. He popped the cap open and coated a few of his fingers in the slick liquid, trailing them down to rub at Tom’s entrance. Despite the initial reaction and shock that caused him to let out a soft mewl, Tom quickly got used to the feeling of the two lubed up fingers being carefully pushed inside him. Tom turned around once again, now facing Matt, focusing on his facial expression as he teased him by sliding his fingers in at a slower and slower pace, and seeing him bite his lip to keep himself quiet.

“You’re just… _so fucking... go… gorgeous,_ ” Matt exclaimed, trying his best to hold back from moaning the words out.

“What’s new—” Tom giggled sarcastically, but he didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence, as another wave of pleasure took over his entire body, his smooth chest rising and falling rapidly.

“O-Oh my… fucking god,” he choked out before calling out the other’s name with a breathless moan. “Oh… boy. Oh, god. Wow… Oh my god, Matt.”

After a while, Matt eventually pulled out his slick fingers and proceeded to lube up his own cock, taking in his lover’s reddened face and shaking body with his hungry gaze; he licked his lips at the sight once again, hovering over him as he lined his cock up with the other’s asshole.

“Are you rea—”

“Just fucking… go already… please. I… need this.”

The sudden feeling of fullness promptly grasped his entire attention; he remained breathless, trying to mentally handle the overwhelming euphoria clouding up his entire brain. Matt audibly sighed at the sound of Tom’s strained voice, slowly and carefully pulling his hips back before slamming them forward, over and over. He knew way too well what would make Tom desperately beg, and he had a plan.

This unbearably addicting pace was exactly what he intended to maintain. Slow, but impactful. Watching Tom fall apart with each hip thrust. Little by little. Every single one of the bottom’s muffled moans were driving both of them wild, and hearing Tom calling his name repeatedly only helped the magical feeling. Matt groaned seductively in his throat, after leaning in to savour the taste of Tom's wide open mouth all over again. Between the desperate kisses, they were both muttering sweet nothings to each other that neither of them could make out, all while Matt kept bucking his hips harshly into the other, gradually speeding up the pace in order to relieve both of them from the tension.

Their eyes were locked shut, and Matt’s muscles twitched as he swore under his breath the moment he felt Tom come. Tom's body tensed, trembling under the other’s movements, forcing out a choked, provocative sigh with each time the younger man’s hips slammed into him. The shameless sound of Matt’s name rolling off of Tom’s tongue was the most beautiful thing Matt had ever heard, and before even realizing it, he joined Tom as his hips stuttered and he came inside of him with a desperate groan, cock twitching as he filled him up in scalding heat.

* * *

The next couple of minutes became a hazy blur of sweet kisses and quiet nothings; it didn’t take long until the two cuddled up beside each other. Matt’s eyes were closed, and they were both on the verge of falling asleep, as Tom ran his hand through his dark black locks and played with his hair for a bit, whispering the same thought repeatedly into his ear before falling asleep as his clouded, drunken mind calmed down and slipped back into a realm of imagination.

_“I love you.”_


	2. "You don't know me like you think you do."

The sun shyly peeked from under the horizon, filling the previously dark bedroom with soft rays of warm orange and pale pink through the window blinds.

The gentle sunbeams awoke Tom who, in an effort to open his eyes and rouse himself, stretched his arms with a soft groan. He carefully turned around, facing away from the man sleeping next to him and looking towards the large window of the room, squinting his eyes at the bright light coming from outside. After getting used to the brightness of the morning, he took a glance around the room, in an attempt to figure out where he was.

It did not take more than a couple of seconds before he noticed the bright red T-shirt thrown in the corner of the room, and then the sudden realization struck him like a bolt from the blue.

“...This isn’t my bed,” he whispered, trying not to wake up the man quietly snoring next to him in the double bed.

He glanced at the small digital clock on the bedside table.

“7 o’clock”, he muttered. “How did I… even get here...”

He closed his eyes again, and he attempted to mentally retrace whatever jumble of events had occurred the previous night, desperately wishing he could at least vaguely remember what had happened. He held his breath for a few moments and tried his best to concentrate, in hopes that maybe he’d remember anything, but the unbearable headache sticking with him from the moment he woke up wasn’t helping him whatsoever. Letting out a sigh in disappointment, he slowly rubbed his eyes, only to open them again, taking another look around him. He couldn’t stop staring at his own T-shirt on the floor, which made him realize that… he was entirely naked .

Curious as to whatever had made him end up in someone else’s bedroom, Tom proceeded to take a look at the blanket covering him, along with the pillow under him. A soft giggle left his mouth, as he noticed the duvet cover — which seemed to have a unicorn pattern on it.

“This one’s new… right?”

The bright spots of colour contrasting with the hueless gray background looked so silly and over-the-top, yet quite interesting, making Tom chuckle at such a ridiculous choice of pattern for the bedding.

“...Of course. Matt would be the only one to buy this kind of… thing.”

After a few seconds, he looked away from the blanket over him and turned around, burying his face in the pillow with the same kind of pattern. He smelled it for a brief moment, only for a pungent, easily discernible smell to make him realize the reason why he couldn’t remember anything from the previous night.

“Blimey… that’s wine. I don’t even drink.”

Tom started giggling quietly, still trying to remember how he ended up drinking so much to the point of blacking out; the fact that he never even accepted the thought of drinking alcohol had become part of his personality at that point, and it felt so weird seeing himself having broken his self-imposed rule, with little to no memory of it. He grabbed the pillow and sniffed it again, hoping that maybe, just maybe, he was just imagining it all, but the unpleasant smell of alcohol kept coming back, making him more and more confused about this entire situation.

As the initial headache began dissipating, albeit slower than he might have liked it to, Tom turned around once again, this time facing Matt. He allowed himself to stop for a few seconds, thinking about all of this one more time, before he decided to let it go for a while, at least waiting for Matt to wake up on his own.

And, for some reason he was unable to grasp, he couldn’t help but smile at the sight; seeing Matt’s face bathed in the gentle rays of the morning sun felt utterly amazing, taking his breath away from the sight alone. Trying not to wake his friend up too soon, Tom moved his hand and carefully touched Matt’s cheek, gently tracing his bottom lip with his thumb, almost caressing his face. And, for some reason, he had a very strong déjà vu feeling when he did that. Almost as if they’d done this exact same thing once before. He quickly slid his hand away from Matt's face, and his heartbeat started speeding up as if on cue.

“What even… happened?” he murmured once again, beginning to worry a bit.

As he was looking Matt’s body up and down another time, brief snippets of the events from the previous night began flashing in Tom’s mind, but it wasn’t enough for him to precisely figure out the string of events which led him to drinking more than he’d ever thought he would.

But it  _ was _ just enough for him to begin worrying more and more, and to realize more or less how he ended up in Matt’s house. And what had happened after that.

The kisses.  _ Oh, god, the kisses _ . The ones that lured him into what he knew very well he couldn’t get out of afterwards. The ones that made them both beg for more and more, impatiently waiting for the feeling of euphoria that they were blindly craving.

Tom couldn’t be more angry at himself for what happened. 

He'd made the same goddamn mistake, way before that night. He knew from the beginning that his drunken self would be entirely predictable. He knew very well what a fucking party like that would imply, because it had all happened before, and it had all happened  _ with Matt. _ And yet here he was, in the aftermath, regretting the fact that he had accepted going with him to that damned club in the first place.

And the most frustrating thing was that he couldn’t fucking let go of Matt. He loved him, so much, so much more beyond what his foggy, drunken mind had ever been able to show, but every single time he’s tried showing it to Matt, he just… couldn't. There had always been this feeling of doubt and hesitation in the back of his mind that seemed to pull him away from it every single time, and he kept brushing it off with the usual excuse of being drunk and never remembering anything he’d done, all because he was simply, hopelessly, fearing rejection from him. Sometimes, Tom just wished Matt knew how much he truly loved him, but he felt like he had to find peace in the assumption that… there was no way he’d have the same feelings for him.

There was a thing or two he might not have known, though.

* * *

A few minutes passed in the same way, in an almost pure silence, though occasionally interrupted by Matt’s soft snoring. With every breath of Matt’s, Tom's heart would beat even faster than before, and his mind would race with so many thoughts, and flashes of memories, and questions, regarding what he'd done the previous night, being aware that he’d have to find a reasoning for everything, and all of it was centered around him, and he couldn’t concentrate on anything because of  _ him…  _ because he was next to  _ him _ . Next to  _ Matt _ .

Tom’s hand slid back up to touch Matt’s cheek, almost unintentionally, doing the same thing as before — carefully caressing his face, taking his time to admire just how beautiful Matt truly was, watching how the light of the new day was lighting up his face and turning his soft black hair glowing under the sun rays into the most beautiful view he’d ever had in a morning. It didn’t even matter to him whether Matt might have woken up or not, because he just felt a desperate need to say those words, over and over again, without his mind being fogged up by the booze — even if he was well aware he would regret it in a short while.

“I love you,” he softly whispered, “I love you so… so much.”

Having felt something move a bit under the blanket, Tom immediately stopped for a few seconds, in order to make sure he didn’t wake Matt up, only for him to lean in closer afterwards and resume what he was doing.

“I love you… and I wish you knew how much you really mean to me,” he muttered out, unintentionally louder than before. He instinctively closed his mouth shut, fearing that he woke Matt up, but didn’t physically back away this time. Yet, after a brief moment, he whispered once again, almost without even realizing it.

“I just… I wonder if you love me too.”

Tom sighed again, his breathing becoming heavier with the thoughts rushing through his mind, “I wonder if you'd love me the way I love you. If you'd ever… feel the same.”

Repeatedly trailing at Matt’s bottom lip with his thumb, Tom just couldn’t stop thinking about it, and as much as he needed to hear a clear answer, his courage somehow wasn’t enough to finally bring himself to share his thoughts, out loud and clearly, with the man next to him. All he needed to know was whether all of this, this thing he didn’t even know what to call, these emotions rising from out of the blue, the irrational  _ love _ that he seemed to feel for this man, this friend of his,  _ Matt, _ would all lead to nothing. But… maybe he didn’t really want to know. Not just yet, at the very least. Perhaps, pointless hope would feel slightly better than brutal rejection. Because he could swear Matt would never feel the same for him, because there was no way…

“Or maybe… maybe, somehow, you do,” he whispered, letting out a deep breath, “and I’m just… afraid to know.” Tom’s heartbeat kept speeding up, and countless questions were blooming in his mind with each second that passed. He was too busy to answer any of the rhetorical questions he was asking himself, though, because the man in front of him was more beautiful than anyone he’d ever seen. And he hated himself for it so badly, he knew this wasn’t right, but he couldn’t stop. Matt was so beautiful.  _ So bloody beautiful. _

His string of thoughts was suddenly interrupted, though, as he felt an unexpected movement coming from under the blanket; Matt’s hand moved, just slightly, making Tom wonder whether he was awake. And his worries were confirmed just a couple of moments later, as Matt slowly opened his eyes, squinting at the light in the room, letting out a sleepy groan as he stretched his arms trying to wake up.

“Fuck,” Tom murmured under his breath, quietly enough for Matt not to hear it.

Tom attempted to back away from him, hoping that Matt hadn’t felt, or even worse,  _ heard _ everything that happened, but Matt’s arm swiftly pulled him back, closer to his body than Tom had dared to before. Opening his eyes wide, Matt leaned in unbelievably close to Tom, moaning sleepily as he ran his fingers through Tom’s fluffy, light brown mess of hair, which made Tom take a short breath in, out of surprise, melting under the touch of Matt’s soft, warm hand against his head. With his lips parted in shock, Tom was struggling to find his words, and instead decided to wait for Matt to break the silence.

“You have… you have no idea,” confessed Matt, “how much I hate seeing you ruin yourself like this.”

Not knowing how to react, Tom tried to move back once again, but Matt’s arm pushing against his back kept him in place. Tom held his breath, staring into Matt’s hypnotizing, chocolate brown eyes, because he felt like there was… something inside them. They held secrets, they held the power of thousands of unspoken words, and the unknown, glistening from inside them, was making Tom more and more curious.

“Why have you never… told me?” Matt asked, with an unexpected trembling in his voice. “Even after all of this, you still think I don’t love you. You… Tom, you have no idea how long I’ve been keeping this inside.”

In turn, Matt cupped Tom’s cheek and slid his fingers against Tom’s pale, velvety skin, all while losing himself in the mysterious yet mesmerizing emerald green in Tom’s eyes. As soon as Matt’s soft voice reached his ears, Tom’s heartbeat calmed down, and suddenly his hand was resting on Matt’s body, his eyes staring down, eager to admire every single inch of Matt’s skin glowing in the sunlight. Matt tried to think of the right words to convey his thoughts, but it was just too difficult for him at the moment; he couldn’t think of anything else but the sheer beauty of the man beside him. He slid even closer, mouth agape, ready to press his lips together with Tom's, but... not just yet.

“I love you too… and I wish you’d known that earlier,” he managed to articulate.

“Are you… Wait... “ Tom let out in disbelief.

“You don’t know me like you think you do.”

“Matt… do you really...”

“I wish you knew how much I adore… everything about you," Matt smiled, letting out a sigh in relief. He'd never been good with words, but the energy of that moment made him feel like he couldn't sit through this quietly.

“You're perfect for me, Tom, and it's been so hard to wait for the right time to tell you this. I, I couldn’t just… tell you out of nowhere. Even the things that you hate about yourself, I've loved with all my heart, but I could never tell you.”

“I… I never knew that.”

“Of course you didn’t. You never knew how much I love it whenever you’re just… sitting there. Next to me. Nothing else. I don’t know, your simple presence makes me feel at home. You’re perfect in every way I could’ve ever imagined. And… somehow, you never even had the courage to ask.”

“It was… it was always you, wasn't it? And I was just too afraid to say anything. I never did… I never thought of this.”

“Neither of us did… God, I wish I'd said all of this sooner, I was so—”

“Matt, I, no, Matt, don't worry. I… I love you.”

“I love you too. I love you, so much, and now you finally… you know how much. You finally know. God, I’ve been waiting for so, so long.” A few seconds passed, with Tom's cheeks flushing red, as Matt was struggling to phrase his thoughts as nicely as he could.

“Matt...”

“Just kiss me already, Tom. Now you know how much I need it. Please.” 

A shiver rippled down Matt’s spine when Tom finally pressed his lips against Matt’s, pulling an unapologetic groan from his throat. And, just as they both thought, they wanted so much more. But not in a rough, lustful manner, in the way they were familiar with. Smiling at the sight, Tom pulled Matt’s head towards him, running his fingers through the familiar black curls, of a darkness gorgeously contrasting the light shining off of his blushing face.

“I can finally let you know,” whimpered Tom, pulling away from the sweet kiss as he took a breath of air, “how much I… love you.”

Tom wrapped his arm around Matt’s back, pulling him impossibly close, fully enjoying hearing Matt breathlessly choke out his name. Gently touching Matt's lips and closing the other’s slightly open mouth, Tom refrained from tasting him with his tongue too soon, waiting for the right moment — waiting for Matt to make the move this time, considering that he’d already done it so many times before. Tangled up in Matt's hair, Tom’s fingers tensed up, as he felt Matt’s addictingly sweet tongue sliding in through his velvet lips, but not before he heard Matt let out a quiet whimper, luring him into his teasing game. As always.

“You don’t know me… and don’t try to act like you do,” Matt gently whispered, breaking the deep kiss and leaning in closer to Tom’s ear, seeing how  _ Tom adored it  _ when he did that.

“Tell me more… my love… Matt.”

“You’re the only one I’ll ever need. I love you…” Matt moaned out once again as he sank into the magical feeling. “I need you more than anything, my doll…“

Suddenly, all went silent.

Interrupting the sweet and intimate exchange of kisses, Tom chuckled at the unexpected name he’d just been given.

“Heh, I’ve never seen you like this before… I never thought you’d call me that, Matt.”

“Who said I can’t… be horny on main as well—” Matt let out with an adorably big grin on his face, as Tom jokingly pushed him away before he could finish his sentence. The situation flipped around in the blink of an eye, but both of them were more than happy with it . Tom's sudden laughter was now filling the entire room, and Matt couldn’t stop smiling at the sight.

“Did this suddenly turn into subtweeting in real life?” Tom blurted out, trying his best to take a deep breath and attempting not to laugh even louder. Weirdly enough, Tom’s voice warmed Matt’s heart up in such a way that his grin widened immediately, and the look on Tom's face reflected a mix of amusement and frustration. “I say this bloody phrase once and suddenly you’re shoving it in my face, do I look like I’m going to allow th—”

“Wait, I didn’t say ‘but this is ridiculous’ yet, is that the problem?”

Matt began giggling, because Tom getting annoyed over small things like this was the  _ cutest _ thing he’d ever seen. Matt covered his own mouth with his hand, trying his best not to burst out laughing.

“Blimey. Also, what the hell are you gonna call me next, Matt? Seriously.”

“Pancake,” Matt exclaimed almost instantly, with the straightest face he could pull in that moment. It made no sense whatsoever, and that’s what made Tom give in once again, loudly bursting out with laughter.

“I love you, my  _ pancake _ ”, Matt emphasized in an ironically seductive manner, hoping to amuse Tom even more.

“Where did you even get that from?” Tom blurted out curiously, in an effort to stop himself from laughing like an idiot. “Why  _ pancake _ ?”

“So you don’t like that? Fine.” Matt paused for a second, pretending to take his time to think of a serious alternative to the dumbest thing he’d said so far that day. “Okay,  _ Thomas David Scott _ .”

“...Oh my god. Shut up.” Tom’s face turned slightly red, as he became a bit annoyed by what Matt was doing. He loved it, though. And he was curious as to what Matt would say next.

“Now’s the time when you say ‘and that is something you might not have known’, by the way, if you really want to end it.” The fact that Matt managed to keep an almost perfectly straight face while getting more and more on his nerves impressed Tom, but even that wasn’t enough for Tom not to jokingly let out an annoyed groan before chuckling once again.

“You aren’t even putting effort in, Matt.”

“The only reason why I’m not laughing...” Matt added, between the giggles that were just about to leave his mouth.

“First of all, you're laughing.”

“ _ First of all, _ let me finish, Tom. Alright…” he had to stop mid-sentence, in an effort not to let out a proper laugh, “the only reason why I  _ shouldn't be giggling _ is… it's because these jokes are just as low-level as your content—”

“Matt… oh my god,” Tom sighed before he cupped his own face in disappointment and started laughing again at something that he knew wasn’t even funny, but he couldn’t hold back from it. And, after breathing in and out a few times in order to calm down, he finally asked, “How long are you gonna keep this going?”

“I don’t know, Tom. Maybe until you… do your thing. You know… the thing. The thing you're the best at.”

“And that means…?”

“...Just kiss me already, Tom.”

“But it’s your turn...” Tom groaned, slightly irritated by Matt's impatience, but even that still didn’t make Matt change his response.

“I don’t care, Tom, I won’t shut up until  _ you  _ kiss me.”

“Okay,” Tom finally agreed. “But, Matt, you need to start thinking of better pet names than this. It’s worse than your bloody jokes.”

“Fine, linguistics graduate Thomas David Scott,” Matt replied instantly, with an overly sarcastic tone, “it’s good to know that I can only turn you on using long words—”

“There's a joke waiting to be made there, Matt.”

“Because whenever there's a hidden joke about long things, you're the first one to realize it.”

“I was going to disagree, but…”, Tom admitted as he took another look at the other's body, acknowledging the situation they were in, “it would be ironic.”

“Tom, I’m still waiting.”

Instead of continuing the conversation, Tom leaned in close to Matt’s lips again, because he knew that the only way he could get him to shut up would simply be just giving him what he wanted. But, before Tom had the time to do what he'd just been told, Matt impatiently buried his face in the crook of Tom's neck, sucking gently at his pale white skin, causing muffled moans to sound from Tom's parted lips; the wide grin on Tom's face quickly turned into an expression of pure, genuine pleasure, his whispered babbling cut off by the feeling of Matt's sweet, plump lips sliding against his skin.

Tom pulled the other's head closer, letting Matt slide over him, chests flush against each other. However, at no point did the heated kisses across his neck slow down, and their minds were almost entirely clouded by the euphoria; Tom did his best to articulate his thoughts out loud, trying to let Matt know just how much he wished he had let him know about his feelings sooner, and just how much he loved him, but all that escaped his lips were incoherent mutterings which Matt couldn't possibly make out. The sheer sight of it all felt more than unreal for Tom, because he hadn't even dreamt of anything like it ever before; there was something that kept pulling him in more and more, and he couldn't quite figure out what it was - all he knew was that he wasn't regretting any of it. 

“Wait. Wait a bit, love,” Tom whispered in Matt's ear. “Let me…” He slid his hand away from Matt’s back, allowing him to move beside Tom once again, now facing up. Eager to find out what Tom’s plan was, Matt spread his arms on the mattress, before turning his head to the side and smiling at the obvious impatience reflected in Tom’s fast, clumsy movements. Tom proceeded to move the bed sheets out of the way, leaving more room for both of them on the bed. Matt didn’t seem to mind the slightly colder temperature of the air, and he was too busy following Tom's movements with his eyes to give it too much attention.

“Alright… um… close your eyes,” mumbled Tom shyly. “I, uh… just wait.”

Matt chuckled curiously, closing his eyes at Tom’s demand. He felt Tom shift his position lower down Matt’s body, running one of his hands up and down his thigh, and Matt couldn’t help but smile when Tom’s fingers met the dark curls at the base of his cock.

Suddenly, Matt shivered in surprise as he felt a warm hand curling up around his hardening erection, having to bite back his own groan as Tom slowly slid his hand up and down his shaft. Tom started stroking slowly, fingers sliding carefully over the head of his cock, gently rubbing underneath it before sliding down to the base. Matt opened his eyes for a brief moment, peeking at Tom, being greeted with a concentrated look on Tom’s face, who was focusing on his hand wrapped around him; he could easily tell that Tom wasn’t used to anything like this, but he decided to let him figure everything out on his own.

“Matt, I’ve never done anything like this before… and you know that,” Tom confessed, slightly embarrassed at himself; he chuckled nervously, waiting for a reaction from Matt. As soon as he glanced up to Matt's face out of curiosity, the man in front of him was left with no choice but to roll his eyes back in pleasure, which made Tom let out another giggle anticipating what would follow. Oddly enough, feeling Tom’s warm breath against the head of his cock felt even better than Matt would have thought, adding to the heat of his buzzing skin.

“Oh my god… Tom… f-fuck.”

Tom licked his lips, smirking at the sight in front of him, not looking away from his lover’s face for a single moment. He kept his eyes on Matt as he leaned in to gently lick the tip of his twitching cock, carefully taking it into his mouth. Tom slowly bobbed his head up and down Matt’s length, watching Matt squirm under him, repeatedly swearing under his breath whatever his mind would come up with on the spot, unable to form a single coherent sentence. Because each smooth motion of Tom’s hot, wet, filthy, so fucking filthy mouth… it already felt like he was in heaven.

Sometimes, Tom would stop moving altogether, just to watch Matt bite his lip in pleasure, silently begging for more, desperate for the feeling. Tom's hand slid lazily up and down, tongue circling around the tip, cheeks hollowing as he went on to suck on it, slowly and seductively enough for Matt to moan out his name repeatedly.

Each stroke of Tom's tongue against the silky, smooth skin of Matt's cock felt heavenly. As much as Matt wanted the sensation of every single one of Tom's delicate movements to stretch out for hours on end, he couldn't help but shudder when Tom swiftly pulled his lips away from the tip, sounding a quick pop, the feeling of coldness leaving Matt’s mind pleading for more… so much more. Lashes fluttering shut over his faded green eyes, Tom left out a sweet giggle, as if only for himself, and before he knew it, he was drooling at the corners of his mouth with Matt's sweet precome all over again, hungrily circling around the head of Matt's cock with the achingly soft touch of his tongue. It felt so different every single time, and Matt could do anything just for those nearly electric shocks of euphoria to take over his entire body, again and again.

The thing is, Tom knew that perfectly, and reacted accordingly. His movements became gradually slower, turning Matt into a panting mess with each light touch of his fingers across the veins standing out along his shaft. He would often slow down and just stare at it, admiring it, before looking up to meet his shy gaze with Matt’s, who seemed to be fully enjoying every bit of this experience. Though, after a while, the soft whines coming from Matt’s mouth motivated Tom to speed up the pace, wrapping his slick hand around his cock and beginning to stroke it once again with a stronger, more confident grip. Taking Matt by surprise each time, despite the sensation being so predictable at that point, Tom dragged his velvety tongue along the underside of his erection, teasingly flicking it just under the tip, exactly where he figured Matt’s most sensitive spot was.

“You’re getting the hang of it… so bloody fast. Oh g-  _ Oh my god, Tom, _ ” Matt choked out between passionate groans, rational thoughts leaving his mind while watching Tom drool at the corners of his mouth as his head was sliding up and down his length. Matt couldn’t help but shiver, and Tom loved everything about this — from Matt’s satisfying reaction to the sheer taste of him.  _ God damn it, _ he was perfect. And Tom's body was practically begging for him.

“Fuck. Tom…  _ Thomas _ . Oh god, love.”

Fingers slick with precome, all Tom could do was laugh at the sight. With his other hand, he gripped Matt's thigh for a moment, then proceeded to grab his hand, bringing it closer to his own head, encouraging Matt to run his fingers through his faded brown hair. Settling his trembling hand through the other’s hair, Matt refrained from pulling at it, but all of his willpower just wasn’t enough, his mind clouded by the  _ fucking great _ feeling of Tom’s soft lips sucking at his cock. Tom hummed in pleasure when he felt Matt’s hand lightly pull his head down, making him take more of him inside, deeper into his mouth, but Tom instinctively moved his head back when he felt the sheer size of it almost filling him down to the throat. Matt promptly let go, allowing Tom to stop for a moment, take a deep breath, and then dive back in faster than before.

And it felt so fucking good — which was not at all what Matt had expected from Tom’s first time doing something like this. The heat of Tom's mouth drove him wild, and perhaps he should have been embarrassed by the amount of precome Tom had swallowed already, but it just didn’t matter at the moment. In fact, nothing else mattered as long as Tom was there, right over him, making him feel better than ever before.

Tom released Matt's cock from between his lips yet again, with an obscenely wet noise . However, he didn’t move his hand away from Matt’s rock hard erection, turning his hand around and stroking it gently. He leaned up close to Matt’s face again, taking a moment to listen to the sweet, breathy moans coming out from the back of Matt’s throat and breaking the silence of the bedroom. It wasn’t rough, it wasn’t purely sexual. There was something else.

...Affection.

And _ it all feels surreal _ , Tom thought. So different from what they’d experimented with before, minds fogged up by the alcohol. It felt like they were finally fulfilling their purpose, living out the moments they’d both been waiting for ever since they met. They were both there in that second, next to each other, having the time of their lives. Finally, Tom was Matt’s, and Matt was Tom’s, with nothing in between each other.

The seconds that passed after that, with Tom simply gazing into Matt’s dark, heavy-lidded eyes, felt endless. Tom smiled. And so did Matt. Hearts beating in sync with each other, Tom took a few seconds and admired the sheer beauty in front of him, who was breathing heavily and enjoying every movement of Tom’s hand against his sensitive skin to its fullest potential. And Matt couldn't help but admire every single detail of his utterly beautiful lover, repeatedly whispering out whatever sweet nothing came to his mind, letting Tom know just how much he loved him.

Tom was patient; he couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Matt being taken over by the pleasure coming from his motions. Despite his body being practically desperate for Matt to give him what he deserved, Tom loved seeing his lover like this; he knew he wouldn’t often get Matt to beg for  _ him,  _ and he had to savour the moment. It took Tom all his willpower to resist his own desire, but here he was, staring into Matt’s eyes, listening to his sweet, raw moans sounding like music to his ears.

However, he couldn’t resist the temptation of leaning closer to Matt’s face and tilting his head slightly to the side, touching the soft skin of Matt’s lips with his own, before his tongue went on to roam his sweet tasting mouth, just like always. It felt infinitely better than any other time, though, and part of him wished it could last forever. He slowed his hand down, stopping it entirely, now focusing fully on the passionate exchange of kisses between them, the one last step he knew he had to take before getting what he’d been waiting for since they started.

Thankfully, Matt got the memo.

Matt’s hands began sliding down Tom’s body, who was now on top of him. Relishing the feeling of Matt's fingertips against his soft, pale, almost fragile skin, Tom couldn’t help but quiver for a brief second, but he got used to it quickly. With each fast but heated kiss Tom gave him, Matt shifted his hands just a bit more across Tom's back, sliding a few inches down each time, until he reached Tom's hips.

When he spread his fingers carefully across Tom’s ass, he heard a wanton, unapologetic groan coming out of Tom’s mouth as his muscles tensed up instinctively, his back arching when Matt slightly squeezed his ass cheeks. Tom’s body now lined up with Matt’s, their chests were pressed onto one another, and Matt could feel Tom’s dick harden up, already twitching in between his hips and Matt’s stomach. 

Though Tom was trying his best to remain patient, Matt’s caressing along with the quick, amorous kisses which he had such a weakness for, with Matt’s tongue sloppily circling around his own, had his entire body desperately craving for more. Tom’s hips started slightly moving back and forth, almost involuntarily, cock lightly pressing against Matt’s abdomen. And Matt didn’t mind it… quite the opposite, actually; it was Tom’s turn to enjoy himself, so he let him have his way as sweet little whimpers left his throat without a care.

However, after a bit, Matt looked over to his side, his attention being drawn to the lubricant bottle on top of the bedside table; he became quite confused, as he didn’t usually leave it out of the drawer. And that’s when he realized that he simply didn’t remember as much as he might’ve liked to from the previous night.

In an effort not to worry him completely, but still curious as to whatever Tom could explain to him regarding that night, Matt suddenly chuckled. “I don’t remember taking it out.”

Tom froze, as he was trying to figure out what Matt was staring at, unable to understand what he was referring to.

“What?” he asked, in between the heavy breathing.

A moment passed before Matt mumbled once again. “The bottle.” Matt gestured with one of his hands towards the bedside table. Tom quickly moved away from over him, shifting to Matt’s side, proceeding to stretch his arm out to grab the lubricant bottle. He took a few moments to look at it, holding it curiously in his hand, before turning around and moving back beside Matt, now facing him.

“This? Long story,” Tom laughed out, his tone bluntly indicating the uncertainty behind his words, “I don’t remember a lot of it… Actually, I’m not even sure…”

And they both knew that even a child would be able to piece all of this together, but neither of them wanted to jump to the conclusion.

“Tom, you’ll have to explain this.”

“Blimey. It’s not that big of a deal, is it, though?”

“Did I actually use it — ”

“I'll explain this, but later…” Tom whispered, trying to change the subject. “ _ Later, _ ” he emphasized, handing the small bottle to Matt, who grabbed it quickly from his hand, waiting for Tom’s approval before opening it. Tom nodded his head as he turned around, his back relaxing against the mattress, head resting on what was a  _ really _ comfortable pillow… with the same unicorn pattern on it. Matt got up from where he was lying down before, now on his knees, looking at Tom’s body from above, watching how Tom licked his lips and stared at the lubricant in his hand.

“Oh, for god's sake, what’s taking you so long, Matt?”

Tom spread his legs wide, in anticipation for what would follow. Opening the bottle, Matt squeezed some of the gel out in one of his hands, seeing Tom smile as he did so. And, suddenly, it all felt oddly familiar, from Tom’s facial expression to the way his body was trembling under him, already breathing heavily and struggling to find the right words. Hadn’t he enjoyed this same sight once before?

“Tom… Tom, is this what we did… last night?” Matt paused for a bit, trying his hardest to remember what he’d done, in spite of how little memory he had of whatever the hell happened the night before. He gazed down to Tom’s face, whose smile suddenly disappeared, turning into a worried expression.

“I think so… I don’t know for sure? Probably? That’s what I remember, anyway.”

Matt didn’t know how to react to what Tom had just muttered out, and a sudden, confused look on his face only made Tom more anxious about this whole mess. Matt waited a few more seconds before saying anything, until his eyes lit up in realization, as short fragments of what they'd done at the club came to Matt’s memory, making the narrative in his mind a slight bit clearer.

“Wait… oh god. I think I… remember now. I think we really did this,” Matt sighed out. Tom was still unsure about the way Matt was feeling about it, and he didn’t know if it would be appropriate to ask. But he did.

“So we… is it… is it a bad thing, Matt? Um… do you regret it?”

“I...”

“You know I can stop right now, Matt. We can just — ”

“No. Don’t…” Matt insisted. “Please. No, I loved it, I love this.”

“Are you sure? I don't want to force this, Matt, I can stop at any moment and pretend that none of this happened… if you don’t want to, uh, do this anymore…” Tom attempted to shift from the position he was in, but Matt's hand suddenly pressing against his chest as soon as he spoke didn't allow him to.

“No, Tom, no, don’t stop. I definitely want this.” Matt tried his best to reassure Tom that he didn't mind any of it, but no matter how many times he repeated himself, it still didn't seem to be enough to calm Tom down.

“I just hope you don’t feel bad about any of this… I mean, if I was able to remember it, I thought you’d also be able to — ”

“Now I remember it. And I loved it. Tom… please,” Matt moved his hand away, letting Tom adjust his position and relax, “don't feel bad, Tom, don’t stop. Let me...”

“Sure, love.”

Matt rubbed his palms together to warm them up, which Tom found amusing, and then leaned down towards him. And, all of a sudden, Tom arched his back against the bed, unable to hold back choked moans from sounding out of his mouth. Tom wasn’t expecting Matt’s finger to slide slowly, gently, carefully into his ass just yet, nor was he expecting the feeling of Matt’s other hand wrapping around his throbbing erection, sliding up and down and beginning to stroke it  _ so unbearably slowly _ , before leaning in and closing his mouth around the first couple of inches of it, carefully licking the tip of it, making his entire body melt in the heat of that moment… but he embraced it, the overwhelming pleasure turning him into a babbling mess. All he could do was verbally express just how grateful he was for it, showing Matt how  _ fucking great  _ of a job he was doing… and he did.

“Matt — Oh, Matt, oh yes, Matt… You know I don’t do this a,  _ oh god _ … um, a lot, I mean, I d-don’t know if you,  _ mhm _ , if you do either, but don’t stop, Matt, yes,  _ god… I love you, _ please go deeper, Matt _ … yes, yes, just like that, Matt. _ ”

Everything about it felt great, so unbelievably great that putting it into words felt like the most impossible task in the world. Hell, he could barely even breathe normally. He’d never thought he could ever find himself in the same bed with Matt, in a context like this, without being completely drunk and failing to remember most of it afterwards… but somehow, in the aftermath of what he thought was one of the dumbest decisions he'd ever made, it all happened; there he was, in front of him,  _ Matthew Gerald Gray _ , trying his best to make him feel just as good as Tom had made him feel minutes ago.

Tom gasped, as Matt began pushing two of his lubed up fingers carefully inside him; grabbing at the bed sheet under him with both of his arms, Tom began giggling in between the sweet sighs and whimpers he was letting out, because  _ God did it feel good _ , so mind-blowingly amazing that he couldn't keep it inside him. Matt bobbed his head up and down, looking up at Tom’s face and admiring his shifting expressions, watching his laughter getting interrupted by the raw shocks of pleasure hitting him like bolts from the blue, making him shiver and groan repeatedly with each of Matt’s movements.

Flicking his tongue against Tom’s sensitive slit, and then dragging the flat of his tongue across his shaft, taking him all in, Matt hummed, watching as Tom could barely handle everything that was happening to him simultaneously. All Tom was still able to do was moan in an unending stream of filthy little noises, begging for Matt's name as if he were hypnotized… God, he loved him, he loved this, and he wanted more, so much more, more than he’d ever thought he would ask for, and he needed it as soon as possible.

“Matt, please, just— _mmm, it feels so good,_ oh my fucking god, Matt, just do it already… I need this now. Matt… yeah, _yes, like that, love,_ please. I need you now.”

Tom whimpered as the sensation of fullness disappeared when Matt pulled his fingers out slowly, and he let out another sigh as Matt’s lips slid away with a pop. 

“Wait a moment, Matt.” Tom huffed, in an attempt to control his fast paced breathing and relax his heartbeat pumping like crazy, vibrating through his chest. “Let me just… breathe, love. I… alright, I’m good now. You can… yeah, just do it.”

Matt grabbed the lubricant bottle once again, squeezing a bit more of the liquid in his hand and audibly popping the cap back on before lubing up his own cock. Tom looked at him, analyzing the tender but painfully slow motion of Matt stroking his own cock, shuddering at the thought of _ just fucking feeling it inside him already.  _ He found himself staring, mouth going dry, because  _ for god’s sake _ it looked hot, so hot and thick and smooth and hard and incredible, and he knew he wouldn’t last for much longer if he didn’t feel it filling him up… But he didn’t want to end this too soon, because he loved this, and he loved him, and he couldn’t hold back from saying it repeatedly, seeing Matt’s eyes light up every single time he said it despite getting so repetitive and predictable. He had to let him know that he loved him.

But he just wouldn’t move.

“Come on, Matt, I’m right here, next to you, and you do this — ”

“Shh. Be patient for once.” Matt whispered, looking down at his own hand moving up and down his cock. He smiled, knowing very well what he was doing, and being well aware of the fact that Tom didn’t like waiting. At all.

“Matt. I’m literally under you, fucking begging, and you suddenly decide to…”

“A little bit of waiting doesn’t hurt, right?” he giggled, annoying Tom even more. He shifted his gaze from his moving hand to Tom’s facial expression, reflecting the desperation of his body.

And suddenly, Tom just couldn’t see himself having to wait for something that was literal inches away from him. He wrapped his legs around Matt’s back, lifting his own hips and pulling his body towards Matt, getting close enough to the other's thighs, nearly grinding against them slowly, but impatiently; it took Matt by surprise, making him chuckle, and it made him realize even more that Tom really wanted this,  _ faster. _

“Okay, Tom… Fine. Wait, move back a little.” Matt grabbed Tom’s thighs and pushed them back, not by much, only for Tom to adjust his position by himself while laughing at… whatever it was that he’d just done.

“You’re finally doing it? Shocking. You finally figured out I don't like waiting,” Tom replied sarcastically, curious to hear what Matt’s follow up to that would be. 

“Does this mean you don’t want this anymore?”

“Are you serious, Matt?”

“I mean, could you, I don’t know, not be sarcastic for once, Tom? At least when I’m trying to fuck you — ”

“ _ That’s the thing, though! _ You aren’t doing it yet! Just do it already… please, Matt…” Even Tom was surprised to hear how his own remark turned into a softly whimpered request. Matt finally moved his hand away from his cock, now lightly grabbing at Tom’s thighs before lining his dick up with the other’s asshole.

And then Matt stopped, in realization.

“Fuck", muttered Matt, and the immediate facial expression that followed was enough to make Tom worry if he'd done something wrong. Matt stretched one of his arms out to that same bedside table from before, attempting to open the drawer that way before realizing that he had to move away from Tom in order to reach it.

“Matt… what are you doing… why have we stopped?” Tom tried to get Matt's attention when he noticed Matt shift away from him, but to no avail, as he didn't even glance back until he was done; Matt took something out of the drawer, and Tom stared with a confused look on his eyes at the small, glittery—wait,  _ glittery? _ —wrapper in his hand as Matt moved back in, kneeling between his spread legs.

“Matt… that's a…”

“Wait until I take it out. It's a condom, in case you’ve never seen one before.”

“Yeah, yeah, I've used one before, it's just that… why?” Tom paused for a second, watching Matt rip the wrapper open, but in a strangely slow manner. “Wait, Matt. I think I know what you're doing.”

“Tom, I —” 

“You're just trying to make me wait for longer, aren't you.”

“Tom…”

“I know what you're doing, Matt. How hard would it be for you to just get to the point and, I don't know, Matt, maybe fuck me already?” Tom whined with a slight motion of his hips.

“Just let me explain, Tom.”

“Fine, just because I'm not willing to wait much longer.”

Matt looked down at his hands, fiddling around with the condom without taking it out just yet. “Listen, just because you got lucky  _ one _ single time doesn't mean you shouldn't have cleaned yourself beforehand. I'm not risking it.”

“Wait, hold on, what do you mean by… cleaning...”

“This is your first time doing it without being completely shitfaced, isn't it?” Matt sighed in disappointment, knowing very well what Tom's response to that question would be.

“I… oh, you mean that… You know… I've told you, Matt, I haven't really done this before, and I never really knew I should've, you know, prepared for it too much," Tom apologized, as he started waving his hands around instinctively before realizing just how stupid it looked, and he quickly stopped moving, but he couldn’t stop rambling; the pace of his words grew faster and faster as he realized what he did— what he didn't do, actually. “Blimey, I fell asleep last night, didn't I? Is it really, uh, that big of a deal, I mean, if it wasn't a problem last night, can you not, if I didn't—”

“I mean, I could easily use this condom if you stopped whining so much, you know,” Matt said with a low, monotone voice while taking the condom out of the interesting looking wrapper, with the intent of making Tom aware of the fact that he was serious, and maybe just a bit annoyed.

“Alright. Okay. I'll shut up, I'll stop, just please do it already, Matt, I'm begging.”

Tom closed his eyes as he felt Matt leaning towards him, supporting his weight onto the mattress with one of his arms, and apparently it didn’t take much for Matt to put the condom on, as only a few seconds passed before Matt finally asked for permission.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes, please, I'm desperate— I mean, fine, I’ll stop, just... Oh god, you’re finally… oh my  _ fucking god _ , Matt. Holy… yes,  _ yes,  _ I love this. God, Matt, I love you…” Tom bit his lip, in an attempt to stop talking, but he physically  _ couldn't stop, _ seeing as Matt rolled his eyes back at the words sliding off of his tongue.

“Jesus Christ, Matt _ , you’re so fucking big _ … oh, oh god, I can’t take this _. _ Please, yes, don’t go slow, Matt, finally…”

“Thought you were gonna shut up. But… Tom, _ you feel so good _ ,” he groaned in the deepest voice he could pull in that moment, at the sensation of Tom's muscles clenching against his twitching cock. Hearing Tom beg uncontrollably and unapologetically for him only made him more determined to finally give it to him, but perhaps not as fast as Tom might have wanted.

“You’re doing amazing, love,” Matt praised as he pulled away, just for a moment, then inched back inside him. Tom breathed in deep, before he remembered to push down with his muscles, which made it slip in a bit further. Tom tried his best to relax and let him in more and more, but it wasn’t easy, making him grunt a bit in pain. And, as soon as that little noise reached Matt's ears, he froze with a concerned look on his face, slowly pulling out a bit.

“Wait, are you alright?” Matt immediately asked, tilting his head down towards Tom, whose face was flushing red, breathing heavily with his eyes closed.

“Yeah, I’m good, it’s just...” Tom breathed in once again, muscles squeezing down. “I just need one second, don’t worry. Oh god… okay, keep going. Yeah. Wait, Matt, wait, oh my god, are you…  _ yes, _ ” he moaned out in excitement, as Matt’s hand reached down, curling around Tom's dick, now stroking it carefully. Tom felt like he was melting under the touch, and Matt slid a bit more inside, and every single nudge inward felt like a mile. It only took them a couple more seconds before Matt began sliding into him more steadily, and perhaps it started to hurt again, just a bit, but it also felt so fucking good, having Matt go deeper and deeper with each thrust of his hips, and he would not trade this feeling for anything else ever.

“Just tell me if it’s too much…  _ God, you’re so tight,”  _ Matt muttered out, his voice strained. His oiled up fingers were sliding up and down Tom’s cock, and, to Tom’s surprise, the pain was gradually diminishing, dissipating into raw pressure, just raw, filthy pressure.  _ God, it felt good _ . Tom attempted crossing his ankles behind Matt’s ass, and even if he didn’t succeed, as he only managed to wrap his arms around his neck, palms roaming across Matt’s back, and even if it caused Matt to slide his hand away and support his own weight against the bed with both of his arms, the movement somehow helped. It must’ve opened him up more, or improved the angle or something, because now it all turned into pleasure, and he didn’t think that he could ever feel this good in his entire life.

“I love seeing you like this, Tom… fuck. Beg for more,” Matt ordered after he leaned in closer to Tom’s ear; Tom turned his head away, deliberately letting out a provocative groan, which he knew would send Matt over the edge, and the way Matt pushed even harder inside him in response only confirmed his assumption.

“Yes, god, Matt, I love you. Yeah, right there, faster, please…”

Matt smiled, breathing out another sweet whimper, amidst Tom's increasingly louder moans, and the words he didn't even realize were on his tongue until they escaped his lips. “Tom… You sound so beautiful.”

“I love you, Matt, yes. I love you so much, and I know how, how much you need to hear it, but please, Matt, just go harder…”

Matt maintained the same pace he started with, slow and steady, feeling Tom digging his fingers in his back desperately and repeating his name in the soundtrack of endless little moans filling the room. Tom held on for dear life as Matt kept moving, and the following thrusts felt so much more powerful, filling him more and more with his length, but despite how impossibly good it all felt, he still needed more.

“Please, Matt, please go faster… please,” Tom managed to moan out, through the shocks of pure euphoria making him arch his back against the bed. Matt had definitely been going easy on him, and the sheer thought of Matt holding back from bucking his hips into him faster felt simultaneously so sweet and so damn frustrating. “Don’t worry about pain anymore, it feels amazing... for the love of god, please, Matt, go faster.”

“I’m not going to if you don’t say it nicely,  _ Thomas. _ ”

“Matt, please, I’ll do anything for this. I love this — mmm, _ god, you’re big — _ I love you, yes, I love you, Matt, please, I don’t know what I’m going to do without it, Matt…”

“Don't shut up. I need to hear more. I love your… I love your voice, Tom…”

“I love… I love you. You, and only you. Oh, oh my god, I love you. Please… don’t wait for me to ask for it, just do it, now.”

Matt chuckled. “As you wish, love.”

Matt trailed his sweet, plump lips across Tom’s neck, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along his body, and along with Tom’s shameless sounds of blissful satisfaction, the pleasure hit him harder than ever, and he slammed in faster, and harder, each time further than before… and perhaps Matt had planned to go slower, switching back to more shallow thrusts, much more rhythmic and controlled, but the way Tom's body movements basically begged him for more left him with no choice but to go fast, just the way Tom wanted it. And it felt so good.

“Though, if I let myself go,” Matt breathed heavily, interrupting Tom’s soothing moans, “it’s going to be over quickly… and you know how much I love seeing you,  _ fuck, Thomas, _ seeing you like this… but do  _ you _ want that?”

Tom gulped, shivering at the simple idea of it; and as much as he might've wanted not to rush through this, he seemed to have completely changed his mind, because the way Matt's shameless groans filled his ears left him with no other option but to plead for more, and nothing else mattered to him as long as Matt rolled his hips inside him, stimulating every nerve within him, hesitations dissipating in the bliss of this moment. “I don’t care, my love, I couldn’t care less, I need you right now,” he said, unable to meet his gaze with Matt’s, who was now looking at him from above, “I — I’m— I’ll be here with you, we’ll be here together, just please, keep that damn pace, I love you… yes, Matt,  _ don’t stop _ … I need this now. ”

Matt’s deep growl that followed spoke volumes, and suddenly Tom felt Matt finally speeding up the pace; Matt grabbed Tom’s hips and began fucking into him with so much more power than before, letting go of all the desire he’d been storing up until then. His cock hammered into Tom’s ass, making it hotter than ever, and Tom’s heart thundered inside his chest, because the thought of being completely vulnerable and open to Matt only made him repeatedly crave for more and more, harder, rougher,  _ everything,  _ just to see Matt taking complete control over his entire being.

And, in a matter of seconds, Tom was gasping over and over, blurting out whatever short words he still could articulate through the never-ending stream of moans leaving his lips, shaking hands nearly clawing at Matt’s back, and the entire bedroom was getting suffocatingly hotter with each passing second. “F… fuck, yes, I love you.”

In response, Matt made a sweet, slightly high-pitched moan, which took Tom by surprise, and he kept shoving right back in, savouring the way Tom’s hips involuntarily ground against him, watching how the ironic smile appearing for a brief second on Tom's face transformed into the gorgeous, wide-eyed expression of pleasure he was finally familiarizing himself with.

“Oh my… god, Tom, Thomas, yes. Fuck, _fuck_ , you’re so beautiful, Tom, god…”

“Matt, M-Matt, I think I’m,” Tom panted heavily, “I —”

“Yes, go ahead, Tom.”

Suddenly, the cascade of little whimpers and sweet nothings filling up the room was interrupted by loud, desperate, lustful yelling, and Tom couldn’t help but moan out Matt’s name with his every single breath, as his mind got lost in the euphoria of his own release. Matt felt Tom's come coating his stomach, and the aftershocks of Tom's orgasm were still rolling over him as Matt kept fucking him, short and hard strokes, primal and utterly selfish, and both of them couldn’t help but melt into the feeling.

Tom almost started hyperventilating at the raw heat of Matt’s body nearly lying over him, Matt’s cock still pushing into him all the way as he squirmed underneath. At that point, Matt was moaning deeply and carelessly, and no patience or mercy of any sorts could hold him back anymore; he was ramming in to the hilt every time, his hips slapping Tom’s rhythmically, making the other take his dick deeper with each thrust, relishing the look of sincere, pure ecstasy on Tom's face which was inevitably pushing him to the edge of whatever control he still had left… and God, did he wish this could last forever.

The noises coming from Matt’s throat were becoming gradually more and more high-pitched, until they weren’t— and suddenly, it was all over, and Matt moaned loudly, collapsing under the overwhelming pleasure of his own release, breathing faster and heavier, shuddering on top of Tom, his cock pulsing in Tom's ass, Tom enjoying the sensation of the few following thrusts inside him to the fullest.

Tom couldn’t even let out a full coherent sentence; hell, he could barely  _ think _ , because all that was on his mind at that moment was Matt’s name, which he kept whispering as if it were the only word he’d ever learnt, and he knew Matt would do anything to hear his own name like that over and over, so perfectly rolling off of his tongue.

“Matt, Matt, I lo… Matt, I love you, Matt…”

“...I love you, Tom. God, I love you.”

And eventually, as everything slowed down, Matt pulled out from inside him slowly and reluctantly, holding onto the condom and peeling it off one-handed before carefully moving the weight of his body away from over Tom. 

“Alright,” he finally said while attempting to regulate his breathing, “wait a second, Tom.”

He got up from the bed carefully, in order to walk a bit across the room and toss the condom from his hand in the trash can, and the pack of baby wipes which he always kept on the desk caught his eye, as if it were waiting for him.

“Wipes?” he shouted, as if he weren’t just one metre away from the bed.

“Bring the…” Tom paused, taking a deep breath. “Bring the entire pack over here.”

* * *

Matt walked away from the trash can one more time and climbed right back into his double bed, lying beside the sweet, gorgeous looking  _ mess _ that was… him. His love. Tom. Thomas. Scott. Thomas David Scott.

_ God, what a beautiful name, _ Matt thought.  _ Thomas David Scott. _ No, Matt repeatedly saying his full name in his mind wasn’t necessary, it’s just that it made his heart skip a beat whenever he thought of it. And he felt the need to say it. Out loud. Over and over again. Next to him. But he refrained from it, knowing how Tom got ever so slightly more annoyed every single time he got called by his full name. 

_ Thomas David Scott. _

“Thomas… Tom. That felt...” Matt chuckled out, smiling widely as he stared into Tom’s eyes; pure honesty and raw emotion glowing from inside them, and a faded green that never failed to warm his heart. “God, it was  a lot . It was—”

He tried to word out his chain of thoughts, struggling to choose the right words that would describe the experience in a perfect way, because it was… so much. Matt wasn’t a beginner of any sorts at this stuff, it’s just that it all felt  _ unique _ , so different from anything he’d ever done, and it nearly felt like his first time all over again. Quickly getting stuck in his thoughts, he didn’t notice the fact that Tom just couldn’t hold back from giggling, watching Matt stop mid-sentence.

“Incredible? Amazing? Average? Bad?” Tom asked, interrupting himself from laughing. ”Here’s a series of adjectives you can choose from, because I hate waiting for you to think of the right words. Just speak up.” Tom’s sweet voice brought Matt back from his train of thought with a slight jump. “Come on, Matt. I want to know.”

“Oh, I can’t even put it into words, I just… I loved it, so much more than I expected, in all honesty.” Matt slid his arm in between Tom’s head and the pillow it was resting on, and he ran the palm of his other hand across Tom’s smooth, sweaty chest, sliding his fingertips across lightly, almost as if he were fragile, treating Tom’s body as the most desirable treasure in the world.

“By the way, I really wouldn’t mind you listening to me next time we do this, Matt. Blimey, it felt like I was going to sit there for hours on end.”

“Listen here, bottom—” Matt exclaimed jokingly, but with a deliberate, abnormally straight expression on his face. However, he wasn’t even able to finish his sentence, as Tom cupped his face in his hands and burst out laughing in what seemed like less than a fraction of a second. “For god’s sake, Tom, you can’t even listen to what I have to say.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just that…” Tom found it difficult to articulate his words through the growingly loud laughter, “the way you said it, it just… cracked me up.”

“Good, because I’m loving it,” Matt confessed before a short giggle left his mouth.

“Matt… can I still make the ‘horny on main’ joke,” Tom stopped for a brief moment, taking a short breath and calming down, ”because it’s the perfect context for it...”

“Oh, so when I say it you push me back but now you’re laughing your arse off at it?”

“Shush, Matt.”

“No, Tom, you’re supposed to _ make me _ shut up.”

A short pause followed, and Tom’s eyes lit up as an idea came to his mind. Those few seconds were just enough for Tom to think of what to say.

“Alright.” He smirked, with a sudden change of tone. “Fine,  _ Matthew Gerald Gray. _ ”

Matt raised one of his eyebrows in disbelief. “I’m  _ sorry? _ ” he exclaimed, having to take a few seconds to mentally rewind what he’d just heard. In Tom’s voice.  _ Matthew, Gerald, Gray. _

It didn’t matter how ironic it was, because it suddenly sounded so sweet when it came out of his mouth.

‘“Okay, you made me shut up.”

His heartbeat slightly sped up, and part of him wanted to hear it again. And again.

“It’s not hard to tell that you have a thing for… full names, I suppose? I don’t really know why,  _ Matthew _ , but I suppose I have to call you that now, right?” His voice softened, as he saw Matt respond with his familiar wide smile on his face. “Right,  _ Matthew Gerald?” _ Tom raised his arm up, only to glide it back down and lightly caress Matt’s reddened cheek. As usual. 

“Alright, Tom. Fine. What’s the next thing you’ll shame me for?”

“Hmm… glitter, possibly.”

“My god, Thomas.”

Matt had to repeatedly look up and down Tom’s gorgeous, sweat dampened body, which was almost glowing under the sun rays lighting up the entire room. God, he loved everything about Tom. He was perfect, and it was incomprehensible to him just how unique and adorable and gorgeous and perfect every single detail about him was, from his short and pointless giggles, to the way his entire body bounced in rhythm with his resonant laughter, to the addictingly smooth feeling of the pale white skin against his fingertips, to his soft voice which sounded just as sweet as honey to his ears, to the sweet, lustful moans sliding off of his tongue and breaking through the silence of the room, to the… the sheer feeling of  _ him _ . To his simple presence, next to him.

And even if Tom wasn’t at all aware of just how much he cared for him this entire time, Matt could go on for hours on end just talking about him, because, in his eyes, Tom was perfect, and he thought he could never feel such strong emotions for anybody until that day, until he found himself right next to the man to whom he wished he’d confessed his feelings sooner, until all hesitations and doubts disappeared in the never ending stream of “I love you’s”… until Matt was Tom’s, and Tom was Matt’s.

And, all of a sudden, the way Tom tangled his hand slowly through his silken, dark hair abruptly interrupted Matt’s chain of thoughts, causing him to shift from his place with a concerned look on his face, and one single fear in his mind.

“I didn’t say anything out loud, did I? Did I say anything or was it just—”

“What were you thinking of, Matt? I can feel that you’re trying to tell me something. Come on, you can tell me. What is it?”

“Nothing important, I mean…”

“Just say it, Matt… Matthew.  _ Matthew _ ,” Tom emphasized, because at this point he was well aware of what would make Matt speak up. “Come on. Tell me.”

“Okay, fine, let me just…“ Matt chuckled. “I, uh, god, how do I… how do I say this without sounding cheesy… Listen. I… love you. I love you. And I love… everything about you, I mean, every single thing, everything about you, that you might not have even noticed.” Matt trailed his hand along Tom’s chest once again, running his index finger across his skin in slow, circular motions, the slight but noticeable tremble in his hand reflecting Matt’s emotions which fell somewhere in between embarrassment and… love. Pure affection.

“Tell me more.”

“I’m so happy that, um, I can tell you all of this without feeling as… as embarrassed as before. You can’t even imagine how much I just adore… seeing you here, next to me, with no inhibitions whatsoever… because there’s something about simply looking at you, hearing your voice, feeling your skin, or just hearing your name… thinking about you… that just makes my heart skip a beat. And I’m in love with it. With you.”

Tom’s lips parted, with a wide, heartwarming smile on his face, causing Matt to feel his heartbeat rushing even faster. “Matt… you know how I judged you a minute ago for not being able to find your words?”

“Yeah?”

“I… I wish I could say anything but… even if I knew what words to use right now, I wouldn’t be able to stop talking afterwards, so I guess it’s for the better. I just… I don't know, I’m so glad that you’re here with me, you made me realize that…” 

Instead of talking, Tom decided to lean in and plant a sweet, gentle kiss on Matt’s cheek, before whispering once more.

“I love you, Matt.”

“I love you too,” Matt said before pulling Tom into a deep, loving kiss, feeling Tom's plump lips against his own once again, but not for more than a few seconds before Tom backed away from it, about to giggle once again.

“I hope we aren’t doing this again, are we? I don’t think I can handle more.”

“No, don’t worry.” Matt let out a small chuckle, rethinking about everything that happened in the span of… hold on.

“Wait. How long has it been… uh, what’s the time, Tom?”

“About 8 o’clock,” he said, taking a look over towards the small digital clock to his side, ”if I can see properly from here. Heh, maybe I do need glasses… Wait, I mean, you know that I have glasses, but… I just didn’t take them with me last night, they’re at home… Matt?”

Looking away from Tom without paying attention to his pointless rambling, Matt carefully got up from the position he was in, now sitting at the edge of the bed, and he glanced at the digital clock on the bedside table, before shifting his point of focus to the two T-shirts thrown carelessly on the floor, surprisingly quite far away. And then, he looked down at the bed sheet under him, with the still relatively new colourful unicorn pattern on it.

Unknowingly retracing the same path that Tom’s sight followed when he’d woken up, Matt looked at the clock again, only to turn his head around and see… Tom, next to him. A sight he was so unfamiliar with, and couldn’t get enough of. Matt shook his head, as he brought his mind back from his thoughts to the reality he was  _ finally _ living.

The fact that this man,  _ Thomas David Scott _ , was lying down right there, right next to him, in his bed, in his room, with nothing standing in between them, was still unbelievable. And he loved it to death.

“You don’t have anything to do today, right?” Matt asked, snuggling back beside Tom.

“No, don’t worry, I’m not leaving just yet. I can’t. We both need this.”

Matt sighed in relief. “Good. Thank you.”

The silence that followed was quickly interrupted, once again, by Tom's soft giggles, which made Matt curious. “Matt, I just had a thought… you should thank last night’s alcohol for all of this.”

“Fine, Tom, but don’t drink so much next time… please. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

“I’m not drinking anymore, ever again. And I’m being serious this time… I promise.” The volume of his voice weakened as soon as Matt's palm came in contact with his face, wiping off a single drop of sweat on his forehead with his thumb.

A few seconds of silence passed, before Matt gently whispered the same words that he’d been repeating for a while now, just one more time, because he still wasn’t used to this, but he loved this, and so did Tom, he was sure of that.

“I love you."


End file.
